hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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