Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
