Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
