If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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