I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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