They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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