Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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