Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
