Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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