Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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