well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
