Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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