I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
