Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
