Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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