That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
