I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
