We won't sleep together?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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