He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
