Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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