That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
