my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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