She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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