So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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