"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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