let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
