It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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