I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Randomize
