Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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