The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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