I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
