I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
