New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
