And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
