Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
