Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
tell me about the fingering
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