you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
