Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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