He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
