Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
