she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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