no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
two words: eviction party
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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