Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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