Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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