Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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