maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
