So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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