How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
