first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
