How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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