I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
